Saturday, December 18, 2010
Fear of melting
The anxiety attacks have become bad enough that even if Tom has not noticed Rascal has. I can't take pictures while walking him; he is skittish and pulls on the leash, no more walking nice and waiting for me to take a picture. This does not help with the crankiness as I am missing a lot of cool pics AND getting my arm jerked on. So for now I am Wicked Witch of the West and I have to watch so I don't melt.
I have found with my multiple medical problems and one of the reasons for the multiple medical problems is that there is no such thing as a medicine without side effects. The fact that the medicine works is a 'side effect' and quite often new medicine breakthroughs come about because in studies 'side effects' show up with such regularity that the medicine gets used and marketed for the 'side effects' and not the original intention. Right now even though I am suffering from the meds I know that sometimes they are necessary and are worth the trade-off in fact some of my meds keep me alive. I have one medicine that if I go without it for about 24 hours, I will die. Not feel so bad I feel like dying; I mean dead as in put me in a coffin and bury me six feet under dead.
I am doing my best to keep up my spirits and the seizures seem to be subsiding so I'm back at least a little bit and so here is a sample of my last zen-doodle that I did to chill out.
Enjoy Johnina ☺☺☺☺