Honest and forthright doctors

With many years of dealing with many different doctors I have found that honest and forthright doctors has always been a blessing. I may not like what they have to say at the time, but I always need to hear what they have to say. Sometimes they knock me off my island ofcomplacency and denial and that does not feel good. Getting dunked into the cold water and again realizing I'm on an island can be quite a shocker. That's what happened to me today. I went to the third doctor about the swelling in my ankles and legs. The first saw it and diagnosed it. The second doctor, my primary care doctor confirmed the diagnosis. Both told me to keep my feet elevated, and wear compression hose and I would probably be fine. Well I knew that keeping my feet elevated would cut into my computer time and I certainly was not looking forward to wearing compression stockings, but the consequences were to great. As a diabetic I already had poor circulation which was contributing to my neuropathy and eventually could lead to amputation (not a pleasant thought). Having the small veins in my legs deteriorating was adding to this possibility. Well today I went to the foot doctor because my efforts were not working well. Now this is were the honest and forthright comes in; he told me that the reality of the situation was the compression socks were very difficult to put on and most people who had them gave up wearing them because of the difficulty. Since I have neuropathy in my hands and have had past surgeries in my hands putting the stocking on would be impossible and he went out to show me what they were like. Okay so in honesty that option was out. Then he told me that I needed to keep my feet raised above my heart level for at least an hour at least 4 times a day. Well that was a little longer than I expected; a little more than try to keep your feet up. He also wants me to avoid sitting at a desk for any length of time. Okay, okay that really cuts down on editing and being on a site or writing a blog. Tom is currently looking to see what we can do about a laptop for me.
On top of that I keep spraining my ankle because I have permanently stretched out tendons. I can't have surgery because of my health and I can't wear a brace because of the poor circulation and swelling. That certainly cuts down on my forays to take photographs. Unless I am on a completely flat surface, I can feel my ankles shift while I walk. I have already started to work on that problem; I'm learning to take pictures from the inside of the car or on streets and sidewalks. All the pictures that I have posted tonight was taken one of those ways and for the most part they came out. I'm glad I have a telephoto lens. A lot of the shaking I've had problems with has come from the car shaking. I did some art edits with some of the picture since they were just for fun so I had some fun with them.
I've cried some (well quite a bit) from the reality check but thanks to the family grapevine I was able to talk to Sarah, my eldest daughter, for quite awhile and get some good advice and felt much better afterward. She grew up pretty smart and I'm thankful for all my family. Our grapevine works well and Emily, my youngest daughter called too and wanted to know if I wanted to talk. Pretty nice family, huh.
All in all I will survive and I will develop more coping skills so I can go back to enjoying my life again.

New diagnosis 2

When I first started this blog I said that I was not going to make this into a POM site where all I do is complain. That is still going to be true however no one with a chronic illness can be a constant ‘Pollyanna’ and remain honest. There are times when the frustration and sometimes even anger and other unpleasant emotions of living with constant sickness are going to get to you. No matter how good ones coping skills are, the nasty emotions that 0ne tries to hide are going to sneak up on them.
When I tell you what my new diagnosis is, your first reaction will probably be along the lines of well that’s no big deal after all it’s not life threatening like cancer or something. Well any chronic health problem is a lifetime problem; which one must cope with everyday. A couple of days ago I missed a blog because I had to stay in bed with my feet up because of swelling in my legs and feet. Well it turns out that the veins in my legs and feet are deteriorating and I will have to spend more time in bed with the old feet in the air. Just when I start to get really good at photography I have to cut back on the very things I need to do to continue it. I can’t walk around and take pics as much but that was already a problem and just needs more refining. The biggest hurdle is sitting down to edit. Does anybody out there know how to keep your feet from swelling while sitting down? If you have any tips let me know.
I’ve probably put up this picture before but to me it represents how I feel. This picture of the retaining wall was taken just after a rain. You can see the streaks going down the side. I feel like a bug that is so small it can’t be seen on the photo. That bug has just been washed out of its nice comfortable home in the woods and is scrambling to get back up to its nice safe comfortable surroundings. It’s hard and frustrating and tiring and seems never to end. Then it finds the vine and it’s so much easier to climb; it’s a relief even if its life is still harder than it was in the woods. Then it rains again and the process starts all over again. Even with the rains the bug has now found the vine and can now find relief from the constant battle of the wall. And if the bug never returns all the way back to the woods; it can make a different but still pleasant life amongst the vines.
I still have my vine, my coping skills, so I know I can still create a pleasant life for myself. Now I have put a laptop computer higher on my list of priorities. The new ones with Windows 7 have come down in price for basically the same computer I was looking at. That's a good thing. Meanwhile I am also looking at wireless keyboards and arranging my room so I can use my computer from my bed. I’m still here and I’m still coping. I love photography enough to figure out a way to keep it in my life. Maybe this will help add drawing and painting back into my life . Who know it might end up being a blessing in disguise.

New diagnosis

Went to the Doctor today found out I have a virus that is what is making me so miserable. Unfortunately it lasts about 2-3 weeks but fortunately it is not H1N1. Anyway I also got a new diagnosis and even though I am already starting to deal with it I don't want to tell the world just yet. Through this blog I have opened up about some of my feeling that have not been opened before, sometimes not even fully to me and right now with a new, not so nice a diagnosis; I need some thinking, pondering, meditating and most of all praying time. I also need to talk to those close to me, especially my husband and family. Sooo.... I'm just going to put up some pretty cheerful flower pictures. I hope they brighten your day