33 YEARS !!!!

Today Tom and I have been married for 33 years, which I think is quite the accomplishment. I can't imagine not being married to him anymore and our marriage just keeps getting better. However as anyone with a chronic, unpredictable disease knows just because it is a day for celebration does not mean your body will co-operate. Today due to weather changes, extra exercise yesterday and just plain unpredictability I was feeling too sick to celebrate. This is disappointing to me and I'm sure to Tom, also. One thing about a chronic illness it interrupts and causes disappointments in my own life but also in the lives of those around me. Especially my loved ones, both family and friends, which sometimes makes me feel even worse. I have spent almost all day sleeping, if I sit down I go to sleep, which actually has been kind of nice because I've also had a horrible sinius migraine and every muscle in my body hurts. Tom however has been terrific. He made me french toast for breakfast and served it to me in bed and tonight he made homemade fried chicken strips and mashed potatoes. He is really getting to be a very good cook.

I'm just putting up a pretty picture that I like, an art edit that I did before I started writing down how I did them. It is still one of my favorite photos.

New diagnosis 2

When I first started this blog I said that I was not going to make this into a POM site where all I do is complain. That is still going to be true however no one with a chronic illness can be a constant ‘Pollyanna’ and remain honest. There are times when the frustration and sometimes even anger and other unpleasant emotions of living with constant sickness are going to get to you. No matter how good ones coping skills are, the nasty emotions that 0ne tries to hide are going to sneak up on them.
When I tell you what my new diagnosis is, your first reaction will probably be along the lines of well that’s no big deal after all it’s not life threatening like cancer or something. Well any chronic health problem is a lifetime problem; which one must cope with everyday. A couple of days ago I missed a blog because I had to stay in bed with my feet up because of swelling in my legs and feet. Well it turns out that the veins in my legs and feet are deteriorating and I will have to spend more time in bed with the old feet in the air. Just when I start to get really good at photography I have to cut back on the very things I need to do to continue it. I can’t walk around and take pics as much but that was already a problem and just needs more refining. The biggest hurdle is sitting down to edit. Does anybody out there know how to keep your feet from swelling while sitting down? If you have any tips let me know.
I’ve probably put up this picture before but to me it represents how I feel. This picture of the retaining wall was taken just after a rain. You can see the streaks going down the side. I feel like a bug that is so small it can’t be seen on the photo. That bug has just been washed out of its nice comfortable home in the woods and is scrambling to get back up to its nice safe comfortable surroundings. It’s hard and frustrating and tiring and seems never to end. Then it finds the vine and it’s so much easier to climb; it’s a relief even if its life is still harder than it was in the woods. Then it rains again and the process starts all over again. Even with the rains the bug has now found the vine and can now find relief from the constant battle of the wall. And if the bug never returns all the way back to the woods; it can make a different but still pleasant life amongst the vines.
I still have my vine, my coping skills, so I know I can still create a pleasant life for myself. Now I have put a laptop computer higher on my list of priorities. The new ones with Windows 7 have come down in price for basically the same computer I was looking at. That's a good thing. Meanwhile I am also looking at wireless keyboards and arranging my room so I can use my computer from my bed. I’m still here and I’m still coping. I love photography enough to figure out a way to keep it in my life. Maybe this will help add drawing and painting back into my life . Who know it might end up being a blessing in disguise.

Time to take care of myself ---ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

I have been doing so well at blogging before I go to bed it is getting close to being a habit. YES! Even though I do not feel well and have cut way back on what I've done today. Tom heated up a can of soup for me for dinner and I had soup and crackers and that was more than fine with me. I've slept most of the day. It is not a luxury but a necessity today. I am here at the computer to keep the momentum going and because writing the blog really does make me feel better. I have a feeling that if something is not posted here everyday it would be a good bet that I would be in the hospital were I would have no Internet access. Anyway I picked out one of my favorite older pictures that makes me smile to post and since I've slept most of the day it is also appropriate.

The dog ate my homework

This is Hiedi.(Sorry could not get picture to upload, I'll try for the picture tomorrow). She was my dog when I was in elementary school and she really did eat my homework and the English book it was in and the bookbag they were in and my glasses that were also in the bookbag. I had plenty of proof that the dog did indeed eat my homework, but that did not change the fact that I didn't have my homework the next day. I did get off a little easier than if I hadn't done it at all. No nose on the ring on the chalkboard (can you imagine that these days). I still had to make up the homework, pay for the book, go without a bookbag and go without glasses till they could be replaced (no one hour back then)and endure my parents rath at having to replace the glasses. It was not the easy way of getting out of my homework in fact it would have been much less painful if I had just taken care of my bookbag and put it where the dog could not get it.

Today I do not have home work but I do have Fibromyalsia and multiple other medical problems. If I do not heed the advice of my Doctor and my BODY and take good care of myself then I end up paying a greater price just like I did when I didn't take care of my bookbag. Today if I push to hard, do to much, get lazy about meds or eating right or the many other things I need to do; I end up by my body slowing down with more fatigue, pain, brainfog and all the other complications that come with my medical problems. Well I have gotten to excited and done too much and am now paying for it. For a few days not as much will be done, I haven't been on MSS or Facebook as much for a couple days, haven't been sleeping as well, but in spite of " the dog eating my homework" I'll get going again and once again try to learn to put balance back in my life.