Change

Last Thursday as I was driving to my IVIG appointment I made a realization of a change that I have made in my life; a positive change and a long term change. The day turned out to be a day of change too. The day started out with me getting up late and dragging; it's an early morning appt. with a long drive and I ended up leaving late. I went outside into the pouring rain. I got in the car only to realize that I needed gas, so I stopped at the local gas station only to have my debit card rejected at the pump. I had to go inside where there was no problem with my card, just a waste of time outside. Then I got caught in the school bus traffic because I was late which made me later. Then I got caught in the longest line I've ever been in at the Hill St. four way stop. At which point I pulled out my camera (a change) and took a picture of the colorful truck in front of me. As I continued on my drive I realized that I was NOT upset in spite of all the aggravations of the mornings. Not too long ago I would have been upset, uptight and muttering under my breathe; but this time I was thinking oh well I'll just watch the time and if it gets too late I'll just pull over and call and let them know I'm on my way. No biggie. Pat me on the back. To top off the morning when I went to gather my things my purse fell on the floor of the car and every thing spilled out, right down to all my cards and money out of my wallet. I just picked them up and went in. No getting upset.
When I came out surprise, surprise the weather had changed. It was a beautiful sunshiny day. I took several pictures. I was really impressed with the clouds and the reflections in the windows so I paid particular attention to them. Loved the way that pic turned out. Photo taking really makes me feel good- it's good for my psyche. Not too long ago; before the photography habit I would not have noticed how wonderfully the day had changed. Another positive change for me.
On the way home I made another wonderful realization and that is that I can recognize and acknowledge these changes in my life. At one point in my life I was in a therapy group and we were asked to write down a couple of good things about ourselves. I couldn't think of a single thing. All I wanted to do was wad up the paper and throw it as hard as I could because I couldn't think of anything. Now not only can I recognize my good points, my improvements, my good changes, but I can write them down, pat myself on the back, toot my own horn, and I can do it on this blog for the world to see and read. TOOT-TOOT good for me my life is getting better, changing for the better, BIG pat on the back for me.